No Day But Today

Jared and I!
Hes gonna get a tux and lets hope i MIGHT wear this...



lets HOPE this is the ONE

i havent written in a while and a lot has happened.
all i can say is that im a bit confused and waiting to see how things go

i talked to a certain someone today and they were upset
i wanna talk to him right now
i miss him

let's do the happy dance shall we?!
*does a lil happy dance*












today is gonna be interesting
<3

SOOO much to talk about
ill write more later and talk about my weekend
and what im doing this week and moreee

ily
<3

One of my friends suggested getting
a subscription of ZOLOFT today

i think i might just ask about it
it could help a lot


today was a happier day then most...but i know it wont stay that way

<3

i just realized all my recent entries are all emo and depressing
wow

i am too sad for my own good

someone
please come along
and brighten my day?

I feel lazy,
irrisponsible and boring
I feel like my life has been sucked out of me
I have no life
it's like someone just turned off my power switch and ever since
i've been this empty shell
everything that happens to me...
it happens, i think everything gonna get better, then i get shot down again
i feel like a rock
no purpose
im just there

I got an emotional slap in the face today
and I have just about had enough of those
It hurt
It always does
I wanna cry, but the tears come when they want to...
as usual

i need a shoulder
i need a friend
i came really close to calling a certain person today, but i didnt want to rain on his parade
i think my negativity has brought him down enough

i miss him and i'd love him to be there for me for this
whatever
im
over
it
?
no,
i
might
not
be


no, im over it.
i know i am
i just miss talking to him everyday
or as often as i can.

Things are really stressing me out lately
and i need a vacation
everyone does
i think it's the weather
it's been winter for a year!
i swear!
;seljfzj

<3

so basically...

people very close to me are being overwhelmed with BAD NEWS lately

person #1- father left home
person #2- has basis symptoms of TB
person #3- may not be able to concieve children...only 17 yrs old
pers0n #4- R.I.P. TJ Sullivan February 15, 2006

....yeah
and i've been here to hear bad news after bad news
what the hell happened to the happy days?
no one is happy lately
it's like the weather turned everyone EMO!

wtf?!?!

<3

Im listening to ReNt on my ipod
it makes me happy
lol

so yeah
im sitting in acting class.
we arent doing anything today
which sucks
because if we werent going to do sumthing,
i was gonna go home at lunch cause
i am sooo over tired
an di need a long nap.
whatever. Today im gonna go home, take a relaxing hot shower
lay down,
take a nap
then check my myspace and add more to my profile

i need to...
have pics of my favorite ppl in my about me
add a hidden song "goodbye my lover" by james blunt
figure out if there is a better pic i can use for my center 'view more pics' link
there is some more stuff, but i cant remember

so tomorrow, im goin to school
then seeing Trystan at lunch or after school
that should be fun
Lily still has my CD that Trystan made me
so hopefully i can get that tomorrow
Today, I am gonna go pic up my pictures i got developed...
from turnabout to yesterday
WOO fun!
those pics are stocked with memories


<3
im gonna go bowse other ppl's LJs now
ily
Ja mai mai

For you know who....
im happy now


lkdjfiojso



"So Yesterday"

You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes

But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough

Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause


If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

I watched the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts, cause it will end
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can't live without you
Can't breathe without you
I'm dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I’ll be the first to go, yeah, I’ll be the first to go
Don’t want to be the last to know (over, over, over)

My tears are turning into time I’ve wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over
Cause if the world is spinning and I’m still living
It won't be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
Tell me that it's over, over
Honestly tell me, honestly tell me
Don't tell me that it's over
Don't tell me that it's over

In the last 48 hours...


1. Talk to someone you hated: i dont really hate anyone

2. Bought something: an itune

3. Gotten sick: yes. pneumonia

4. Sang: yeahaaaa!

8. Talked to an ex: yeah

9. Miss someone: yes

____________________________________________________

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: me

11. Saw you cry:Me Myself and I

12. Heard you cry: Parents Prolly

13. Made you cry: Someone...thoughts of the future are scary

14. Went to the movies with? zack

15. You went to the mall with: Lily

16. Said "I Love You" and meant it: Zack
__________________________________________________

17. Ever been in a fight with your pet: nope, but my cat does have an attitude problem

18. Been to California: yeah I live here!

19. Been to Mexico: noo

20. Been to Canada: no

20. Been to Europe: I wish!!

21. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah...whats it to ya?

22. What book are you reading now: At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks

23. best feeling in the world: when you are holding the one you truly love so close, it's like there is never a need to let go

24. Future KIDS names: Abby, Faith, Hayden Parker or Shawn

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: a stuffed monkey holding a heart "love" ...given to me by Zack

26. What's under your bed: so much crap

27. Favorite sports to watch: DANCE!

28. Favorite Location: Italy

29. Piercing/Tattoos: just ears. but i will get my eyebrow and a heart on my ankle

30. What are you most scared of right now: losing my loves. or at least them driving away

31. Do you want to get married?: yes of coarse!

32. Who do you really hate?: nobody

33. Do you have a job?: Ill work at best buy once i get my liscence

34. Do you like being around people: It's my only medicine

35. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with: been there, done that

36. Have you ever cried: who hasnt?

37. Are you lonely right now:yeah

38. Song that's stuck in your head right now: In the Deep from CRASH

39. Played strip poker: yeah but only got to my tank top and shorts

40. beaten someone up: noooo!

42. Been on radio/TV: TV!!!

43. Been in a mosh-pit: came hella close

idk what to write. i guess i have so much to say. i cant find the words.
uhm...it's really cold right now
im listening to good songs
uhm...

i could tlk about yesterday. Zack came over to watch movies. we watched Robin Williams live on Broadway. It was really funny, and we watched Just Married. It was hilarious. i love that movie. I love spending time with that boy.

I really have nothing more to say. ill write later if some life changing event occurs.
ily<3

Put your music library on shuffle and answer the questions with songs in the order they come up.

1. What's my mood like right now?
Razorblade Kiss

2. How's tomorrow going to be for me?
You're lost, You're crazy

3. What kind of person am I?
El Tango De Roxanne

4. Am I loved?
Im gonna sit right down and write myself a letter....oh lame lol

5. How can achieve my highest potential?
Crazy for you


6. What should I do with my life?
This is the Night

7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end?
Take Me away

8. What is my best quality?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

9. How does my sex life look?
Ready, Aim, Misfire...shit lol

10. What's the meaning of life?
Lovers & Liars

11. What do people think of me?
Shoot The Moon

12. Would I make a good lover?
Sugar, We're Going Down

13. How crazy am I?
Bleeding Mascara

14. Will I have a good life in general?
Summer

15. Can (insert name here) ever really love me?
The Quiditch World Cup

16. Can me and (insert name here) ever be more than friends?
Your Winter

17. What's going to happen to me this week?
Night Drive

18. Where will I be a year from now?
Falling Down...:(

19. What is my biggest wish?
Turn Me On...0_0

20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment?
Turncoat

21. How will I die?
The Goblet Of Fire...SWEET!

22. What will happen after I die?
Summer Nights eh?

23. How do my friends feel about me?
Happy Together


that was special
lol
<3

it is freeezing!!!!
Okay, so yeah...I had a long night last night
but i reallly dont feel like writing about it..and i dont think i'm going to ...it'll just be easier that way
but this morning, i wen to get my ipod, and it was still connected, but since i have a laptop, i closed it and it shut down...
PROBLEM!!!
I have it with me right now and it is frozen on "Do Not Disconnect"
because my computer wouldnt load itunes in time after i turned it on

so right now, im wondering wen mandy will get to school
i am starving and i need to mooch off of someone so i can get a coissante

ooo maybe joey will buy me something
he always has money!!! yay!

i feel like max
oh goodness
im the mootch #2!


well
im boring myself
blahh



bye!
<3

im still sick with pneumonia
been watching chick flicks all day
save me
i miss my friends and Zack terribly
i need to get out of this house

<3

Having pneumonia on Valentines Day wasn't the nicest thing
BUT i had an amazing day anyway

I woke up, sick as hell
but around 1, my aunt came over to watch me because my dad was at school and my mom was running arrends.
then around 2, Zack came over, and we watched a few movies...my aunt left early before my parents came home, so Zack and I were alone for an hour or so. It was nice . Then my dad came home, and It pissed me off when he asked Zack to help him do some work outside. For the past few days, I've been dropping hints to my dad to leave Zack and I alone when he was over. BUT he never pays attention. Just the other day, Zack and I were watching tv. and my dad joined us, God knows why...but he did. and when a lame show came on.. .HE MADE US WATCH IT BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO GO IN THE OTHER ROOM. SO Zack and I just sat there while my dad laughed at Becker...which by the way, isnt even funny!!! GGGRRR i hate my dad! I wanted to smack him, and take Zack upstairs so we could be alone. lskjglksxjsjfp

anyway, Max came over on valentines day too, around 9, and we watched "Just like heaven"...yes we had been watching chick flicks all day. except for Saw 2, which I wouldnt have minded if we skipped that movie. ANYWAYS, Zack brought me red roses and a lot of chocolate by the way. it was so nice. My mom bought some things for Zack, from me. yeah i know, but i couldnt leave the house, being as sick as i am to buy him something. but she got a lot of chocolate lol. he loved it.

well, im downloading some songs for itunes right now, getting some Carly Simon, feel Good dance music on here lol

ttyl
<3
Jaime

I have spent a week sick out of my mind
coughin up shit and running high fevers
you dont have to ask
i have Pneumonia

The sickness is really bringing me down.
But today, everything seemed...okay.


Today, Zack and Max came over for a few hours. All we did was watch a few movies, and my parents were right there. So i didnt get any chance to just sit and talk about important stuff with the both of them. I mean seriously, my boyfriend, and my best friend are over, i dont need my parents hovering over us. But they hovered, and kept on hovering. But I was okay with it I guess cause I got to be with them at least. It is so nice to know one's missed. Their company made my week! I love them both so much.

I pray i'll be better for Valentines Day so I wont feel crummy for whatever surprise Zack has up his sleave. It was so neat! Zack told me he had something really special planned for Valentines day this year, but it fell through cause I didnt have school, this is what he said would have happened if i was in school......

"i was gonna go talk to your 3rd period teacher and ask them if they were doing anything with the class for vday and if so then if they would mind if i got involved a bit, and if they were willing i was gonna have them turn on a radio and have the song 'brighter then sunshine' playing when everyone got settled. an then they would have some flowers sitting out in the front and then will you be my valentin on the board, and then have them like ask the class who thought that this stuff could be for them and see who would raise their hands. and then i walk in the door"

He is THE sweetest everrrr!!!

I am hoping he has something else in mind since i wont be at school. It is so amazing he has become so romantic, and spontanious. He had a surprise and now cant do it. Lets all give Zack good ideas to surprise Jaime this Valentines Day shall we? lol

Well, since they left, i miss him soooo much. I miss max too. But i miss Zack with all my heart, and i love him with all my heart. I love being with him, and every moment away from him is torturing.


and believe it or not, I felt better when he was with me today.
wow i love him

<3

ps i need ice cream
:(

Im Home sick! This cough is killing me man! I just realized how messy my room really is. Shit, i need to do some cleaning. So yeah. Today was challenge day and I wont be able to ever go again cause Seniors cant go and i forgot to sign up for this year. Im so sad! I look forward to challenge day every year!!! L A M E !

<3

I miss Zack